


Herding Aliens

by breakdancingsigma (hetawholockvengerstuck)



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Gen, ME2 spoilers, Mass Effect 2, Platonic Relationships, Team Bonding, Team Dynamics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-07
Updated: 2016-01-11
Packaged: 2018-05-12 08:42:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5660059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hetawholockvengerstuck/pseuds/breakdancingsigma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepard is tired of her team members fighting amongst themselves, and decides everyone needs to take some time to get along--whether they like it or not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In Which Shepard Is Pissed

**Author's Note:**

> De-anon from the kink meme, for this prompt:
> 
> I have a terrible deep desire for platonic bonding fics, or really any fic that goes into squaddie platonic relationships. I know this is cheating anon, I hope you are not upset. :/ It's just that there's waaaaay too little character interaction in ME2. I can just see Shepard going, "come on, you sociopaths, for fuck's sake, TALK TO EACH OTHER. I can't be EVERYONE'S best friend!!"

_"Hey, Commander?"_  
  
Shepard looked up from the galaxy map. "What is it this time, Joker?"  
  
_"Sorry to bother you, but Garrus and Thane are arguing in the mess hall--"_  
  
Shepard cut him off with a groan. "You have got to be _kidding_ me!" she spat, turning on her heel and heading towards the elevator.  
  
This was the _seventh goddamn time_. First it was Miranda and Jack, then it was Legion and Tali, then _Jacob_ and Tali, then Grunt and Mordin, then Samara tried to intervene in _another_ fight between Jack and Miranda, and then Jack went to pick a fight with Garrus...  
  
And just when she thought at least _one_ of her team members had it figured out, he manages to get in a fight.  
  
The elevator doors opened and Shepard stormed around the corner. True to Joker's words, Thane and Garrus were standing toe to toe in the middle of the mess hall, with about a third of the crew watching from tables.  
  
"That's a pile of varren shit," Garrus growled. "What your body does is entirely up to your brain. You're the one pulling the trigger, you're the one responsible for the deaths."  
  
"Perhaps that is how you view it," Thane said calmly, but there was an undercurrent of irritation in his voice. "We drell view it differently."  
  
"I don't care how you view it, you're no better than a thug!"  
  
_"Enough!"_ Shepard shouted. The mess hall went quiet, and the two aliens in the center turned to their commander with sheepish expressions.  
  
"Shepard, I can explain--" Garrus started.  
  
"I don't want to hear it!" she said. "This is the _last straw_ , you hear me? I want you two in the briefing room in half an hour at the latest."  
  
"Of course, Shepard," Thane replied.  
  
Garrus muttered something about calibrations, but kept his eyes on the floor as he walked towards the elevator.  
  
In the meantime, Shepard had a couple of visits to make.

* * *

Precisely half an hour later, Shepard had her team assembled in the briefing room. The atmosphere was tense, but no one dared say a word as their commander fixed each of them in turn with a stern, disapproving glare.

"Your behavior has been unacceptable," Shepard finally said. "We have to work as a team, and that means getting along, whether you like each other or not. You have to _trust_ each other."

Jack made a noise in her throat that was probably an aborted laugh.

"So from now until I say otherwise, I'm going to be adding mandatory bonding time to your routines. You _will_  attend these sessions, you _will_  make every effort to get along with whoever I stick you with, and you _will_  do this until I decide that you have established a satisfactory relationship."

The briefing room broke out into protests. Shepard just stood there, letting her anger roll off her in waves until the crew was collectively muttering a "Yes, Commander."

"Good," she said. "I'll send the schedule to your omni-tools. Dismissed."


	2. Of Fathers and Bias

"Why are we the first ones to do this?" Tali huffed.

Jacob shrugged. "The commander probably wanted to avoid a huge confrontation right off the bat."

"Is that so," Tali said, crossing her arms. "Then why is Legion here?"

"Shepard-Commander told us to be here."

"I wasn't asking you," Tali snapped.

Jacob sighed. "Look, I know you don't like Cerberus-"

"Of course I don't! You tried to blow up the flotilla!"

"-and that's perfectly understandable. But Cerberus has also done some good things."

Tali's unreadable expression was a bit disconcerting, and under normal circumstances Jacob would have excused himself from the situation. He wasn't exactly thrilled to be having this conversation outside the engine room, either, with Jack just underneath their feet.

"Cerberus has also done horrible things."

"I know this organization hasn't built up a shining reputation. I'm not the kind of person who follows a cause blindly. I only joined Cerberus because the Alliance wasn't getting the job done."

Tali's laugh sounded fake. "That's what everyone says."

"Look, I wanted to do good. I saw what the geth did on Eden Prime, and I saw the Alliance do nothing but pander to the Council. I'm not going to sit by and watch as the Collectors abduct whole colonies of humans, and Cerberus is the only organization that lets me take action. The geth were bad enough."

Legion spoke up. "We have reached a consensus on why Shepard-Commander  has asked us to interface with you."

"And what might that be?" Tali snapped.

"Jacob Taylor and Creator Tali'Zorah both have strong reasons to dislike the geth because of the heretics. We are not heretics, but it is common for organics of all species to channel negative emotions onto beings that share an appearance with the group or individual that they resent."

Neither Tali nor Jacob had a response to that.

"Have we said something displeasing?"

"It's not that," Jacob said, smiling bitterly. "You're right, in more ways than one."

Tali finally uncrossed her arms. "Jacob...when you came back from finding your father, you were not happy. Forgive me if I am out of line, but...did something happen?"

Jacob tilted his head to the side. "You...I didn't realize you noticed."

Tali ducked her head again. "I know we do not see each other often, but we do occasionally eat at the same time. Usually you have your meals in the mess hall, with the rest of the crew. But after you got back from your mission, you kept taking your meals to the armory."

"That..." Jacob turned his head to the side, took a deep breath, then turned back. "He's not my father anymore. He had people depending on him, and he took advantage of it. I'd rather not go into details, if you don't mind."

"Of course," Tali replied, her voice softer. "I can't pretend to know what that feels like, but--Legion, would you mind stepping out for a bit?"

Legion's "eye" expanded and contracted. "Shepard-Commander gave us an order. We must stay until the allotted time is up."

"Please, Legion," Tali said.

"Whatever Creator Tali'Zorah says will remain confidential."

Tali sighed. "That will have to do." She turned back to Jacob. "When I went to stand trial, I learned that my father had been running dangerous experiments on reactivated geth. He knew what he was doing was wrong, but he was so focused on getting results that he risked everything my people worked so hard to get. If the Admiralty Board had found out he would have been remembered as a monster." Tali shook her head. "Maybe it was misguided, but I couldn't let that happen."

"So that's why your name changed in the mission log," Jacob said. "You let yourself get exiled in place of your father."

"No, Shepard was able to rally the spectators and keep me from being exiled. I wasn't declared guilty, but I also didn't prove my innocence. For now, I am Tali'Zorah vas Normandy."

Jacob lifted a hand as if to pat Tali on the shoulder, then thought better of it. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry about your father. And...thank you, for telling me."

Tali looked up; Jacob could just make out her eyes under the mask. "Thank you for listening."

Legion tilted its head. "It is common for organics to engage in a 'hug' after emotion-based interfacing."

Jacob and Tali exchanged a look. "I don't think we're quite at the hugging stage yet," Jacob said.

"Then we do not have sufficient data on the 'hugging' subroutine."

A few minutes later, when Jack decided to climb the stairs for a snack, she saw Jacob awkwardly hugging Legion while Tali tried to explain the emotional significance of the action.

"This ship just keeps getting weirder and weirder," Jack muttered.


	3. Of Family and Faith

He found Samara meditating, as usual. The moment the doors closed behind him, however, her biotics faded.

"Thane," she said. "I see you received my message."

"Of course. Did you need something?" 

The justicar shifted a few inches to the right and indicated the space beside her. Thane dutifully took a seat on the floor.

"You are to meet with Garrus soon, yes?" Samara asked. 

"Indeed. I was unaware that the schedules were being made public," Thane responded.

"They aren't. Garrus simply seemed a bit more irate when I passed him earlier. You shall have to choose your words carefully."

Thane nodded. "The turian is usually an agreeable person. I'm not sure what it is about me that angers him."

"Is that so?"

Thane spent a moment contemplating the view, then said, "I cannot speak for him. I do have a theory, though."

Samara turned her gaze to the stars as well. "I thought you might. What is it?"

"Garrus is...reckless. He has noble intentions, boundless ambition, and a remarkable tolerance for pain. He has seen death and lost friends. His work as Archangel was sparked by a desire to make a difference in the same way Shepard did, but in the end he found himself outgunned and outclassed. He is frustrated that he lost so much and gained so little. And...I suspect he feels he has something to prove."

Samara made a noise of agreement. "He is still so young. His moral code is strong, but flawed at times. He lacks discipline and gives in to emotion too easily. Still, had he been born asari, he might have made an excellent justicar."

Thane nodded. "If I may be honest with you, he reminds me of Kolyat."

Samara's piercing gaze fell on Thane. "Your son?"

"Yes."

For a moment, Samara was silent. Then she turned her body ever so slightly towards Thane and said, "Children can be so reckless. We only want what is best for them, but they do not always believe that."

Thane shook his head. "Sometimes I am not so sure myself. Kolyat has every right to resent me. I was absent from his life when he needed me most."

"Be thankful that you had a chance to save him."

Thane looked up at the justicar. Her face was turned towards the window again, stoic in a way that suggested great emotion lay just beneath the surface. 

"Morinth was beyond saving," she went on. "Death was her only chance for salvation. She killed too many innocents, but Kolyat has no blood on his hands." With a deep breath, Samara turned again to Thane. "You may not have been there for Kolyat in the past, but you have proved your love. I was unable to do so for my daughter."

"You did what you had to do," Thane said. 

"I know," Samara said quietly. She closed her eyes for a moment. "I did not bring you here to speak about my daughter. You say that Garrus reminds you of Kolyat. Does that not give you a hint as to why Garrus resents you?"

Thane thought for a few minutes; Samara waited patiently. "I doubt that he sees me as a father figure."

"No, but perhaps that is what he needs," Samara said. "Did you know that Garrus had the chance to receive Spectre training?"

Thane blinked. "Is that so? But he did not receive the training..."

"...because his father denied him the chance." Samara boosted herself into a standing position and stepped closer to the window. "Perhaps he does not actively view you as a father figure. But...it might be nice for him to hear words of affirmation. He may seem strong, but deep inside there is a little boy desperately seeking purpose and approval."

Thane regarded Samara, silhouetted against the stars, and came to a decision. He rose to his feet and straightened his coat. "I must leave now, or I will be late to the meeting. I am glad we were able to have this talk, Samara."

Samara did not turn away from the window. "I wish you luck. And Thane, you are welcome to visit whenever you need someone to speak with. Or if you would simply like to meditate, I will be here."

Thane bowed his head, then took his leave. Samara remained standing for some time after he left, watching the dark expanse of space pass by and thinking of a time long ago, when three little girls looked at up at her with the stars in their eyes.


End file.
